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I’m not motivated enough to follow Zia every morning to see if he heads to Golnar’s apartment building. I haven’t passed any kidney stones since I’ve taken Ketamine the water has cleansed my kidneys of calcium residue, I suppose, or perhaps I will be in three times as much pain when a stone does pass. Yet, for a hydrophobic like me, even one liter seems insurmountable, requiring a kind of meditation. You need to drink at least three liters of water when you’re on Ketamine. I don’t move, don’t hear Zia’s making noises, don’t look away from the monitor, except for occasional sips from my water bottle. I haven’t taken a look lately don’t know what I am writing-perhaps I’ll read it after I quit Ketamine. I open Word and begin to fill in the blank page. I always hated it when Azadeh hunched while writing and now it’s me who’s all hunched up. I should take it to my room, it’s better to drink it there as I turn on my computer and hunch in the chair. I don’t ask him why I go to the refrigerator instead and take out a bottle of water, then I remember that Zia is fasting just as I’m about to guzzle it down. When he gets back he fiddles with the cabinets and turns his GPS on. Every morning he gets up, calls a taxi, and heads to Amir-Abad, leaving me to sleep till noon. My father has been staying with me since the first of Ramadan. Next I should ask what he has to do in Amir-Abad. I don’t move, so he gets up himself and turns it off.
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Don’t sit there or you’ll catch a cold,” he says. After that, I go out and sit under the breeze from the air conditioner. An addict can walk over red coals or jump into an icy lake. Next, it’s time to immerse myself into water-it doesn’t matter if it’s warm or cold, it makes no difference on Ketamine, it disables your body’s thermostat. My ankles and legs are always marked with scars, I’ve had scars since childhood-I hit my legs on the walls and never know how it happens-so Zia would never suspect that the sores might be caused by shooting up. Where can I hide a sore? Among other sores. I go to the bathroom, turn on the faucet, take the Ketamine capsule and syringe out of the toilet tank, and inject it into my ankle. I sleep as late as I can before Zia feels bored and begins to fiddle with cabinet handles or turns on his mobile GPS. Zia is fasting for Ramadan, so I don’t need to cook lunch. In the morning, I wake up with a hangover. Why is addiction incurable? Why can’t I just head to a Laleh Park treatment session and proudly declare that I’ve been clean for a while and get heartwarming hugs from anonymous members of the addiction community, and then, once I’m liberated from their embraces, still feel clean? I don’t remember a single night when I haven’t asked myself what brought me to this point, but as morning approaches, I forget the question.
#HAZEOVER FREE FREE#
I was hooked on being free of family ties, but now I’m hooked on my father. I was hooked on Azadeh, now I’m hooked on Jaleh. I was hooked on weed, now I inject Ketamine. I was hooked on idleness, but now I’m hooked on work. But you will have to figure this out on your own, my final exam does not allow me rn to try to discover new stuff here.The short story “Hazeover” by Iranian writer Mohammad Tolouei, translated from Farsi by Farzaneh Doosti.Īddiction doesn’t disappear, it only changes forms. The script would have to search for the variable.
#HAZEOVER FREE HOW TO#
Bugger, I have no clue at all how to access these "Menu Bar Apps" (if someone knows, I'd be into it) Use Apple Script to access the right Menu Bar items and search for the existence of the menu.You would have to check if this Process exists to toggle the widget dependently. Check if there is a process in the Activity Monitor that appears only when HazeOver dims the windows.Three ways that I can think about to get what you want: HazeOver will always be there, you can compare it to your Web browser: whereas the Browser might display a webpage or not, HazeOver might dim the other apps or not. Never be active (I guess - unless a preference window or something is open).To make some confusion clear, HazeOver will always be The widget it not suitable at all for what you are looking to achieve.